(To the tune of 'Fifty ways to leave your lover')

"The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to play stealthily

She said "it's really not my habit to intrude"
Furthermore I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
So I repeat myself, at the risk of being rude
There must be fifty ways to play stealthily, fifty ways to play stealthily

Just stab 'em in the back, Jack, kill their first mate, Cate
Trip them with a peel, Neal, just listen to me
Zap 'em with some juice, Bruce, that alarm won't be touched
Tranq them in the tail, Gail, and search them fast

She said "it grieves me so to hear the alarms sound"
I wish there was something I could do to make you sneak again
I said, I appreciate that, but would you please explain about the fifty ways

She said, "why don't you just sleep on it tonight"
And I believe, in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she tranq'd me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to play stealthily, fifty ways to play stealthily

Just stab 'em in the back, Jack, kill their first mate, Cate
Trip them with a peel, Neal, just listen to me
Zap 'em with some juice, Bruce, that alarm won't be touched
Tranq them in the tail, Gail, and search them fast

(parody by Cainan: )